NEW BLOG ADDRESS!!

just wanted to let you know that i have switched blogs...

my new blog address is:

http://www.myroadtoemmaus.wordpress.com/

effective: immediately.

let the foolish shame the wise

I was reading about John the Baptist the other day and these words stood out to me: “The voice of ONE crying in the wilderness: ‘Prepare the way of the Lord.’” I have always thought of John’s purpose in life as a noble one- as one that we should all envy. But after sitting for a few minutes and pondering his life, I was struck with reality. John undoubtedly lived a lonely life- being the “one” who was crying out for the coming of Jesus. He lived in the wilderness. He ate locusts and honey. He did not live like the Pharisees, the religious people of the day. He was probably not highly esteemed. He fasted a lot, which is the spiritual way of saying that he was probably always hungry. He looked different. He dressed different. In our day, he would be the type of believer at which the Church would probably raise their eyebrows and with which they would avoid eye contact. And yet he was the man of whom Jesus said, “Among those born of women there has not risen one greater than John the Baptist”.

Why is it that the most religious people of the day did not recognize Jesus? Why is it that the ones who did recognize the Savior were people like John the Baptist, Anna (the woman who literally lived inside of the temple and who spent her life fasting and praying), and the “Wise Men” (who offered up extravagant gifts to a baby)?

To be honest, it makes me a little nervous when I look at my life and consider the emphasis I have placed on “fitting in”. If the most religious people of the day did not recognize Jesus, who will recognize Him when He comes back again? If the Pharisees and the Sadducees were offended because their Savior entered the world as a baby, born of a virgin, in a manger, then will we be offended by the manner in which the Bible says that Jesus will return? I would love to hear your thoughts...

what's the big deal about patience?

I spent this morning doing a pseudo word study on the idea of patience. After an hour or so, I couldn't help but think, "What's the big deal about patience?" Love, sure. Joy, definitely. Perserverence? Yeah, I have heard a few talks about the topic of perserverence. But patience? I have rarely ever heard a pastor speak about it or a leader teach on it. My paradigm of patience is this: When the person in front of you is driving 20mph below the speed limit, be patient.

Yet after looking through some passages this morning, I am starting to think there is more to it. Here is what tipped me off. First, 2 Thessalonians 3:5 says, "Now may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the patience of Christ." Of all the attributes of Christ that our hearts could be directed into, Paul picks patience. Patience?!?! What about the mercy of Jesus? What about His love? Doesn't that encompass everything anyways? Second, the famous love passages' (1 Cor 13) first description of love is this: Love is patient. Hmm. Third, James says to count every trial JOY because it produces patience. He goes on to say that if we let patience have its way with us, we will be "perfect and complete, lacking nothing." A few chapters later, he continues on about patience instructing us to be patient and thus, establish our hearts... "for the coming of the Lord is at hand". Then, to top it off and further convince me that I know so little about patience, he uses Job as his example of patience.

Now Job endured just a tidge more than having to follow behind someone going 20mph below the speed limit. Naturally, I discovered, different translations of the Bible use patience and longsuffering interchangeably. I was onto something!! I had heard once that long suffering literaly means this: suffering for a long time. Genius, I know. So, Job suffered long, Jesus suffered long, and now we are called to suffer long and if we do- if "patience has its perfect way" and we seek to "establish our hearts", then we will be complete and lacking nothing.

All to say, I feel like I just opened pandora's box... all because of the word, "patience". Ironically (or not so much), I am realizing that patience has a lot to do with being poor in spirit and therefore becoming a resting place for the Lord (see previous post). Needless to say, I am excited to ask the Lord for more revelation as I continue to study this topic. To be continued...

"on this ONE will i look"

For the last two weeks, my prayer room team (the team I brief and de-brief with each morning) has been focusing on the first two verses of Isaiah 66. It goes like this:

"Thus says the Lord, Heaven is my throne, and earth is my footstool.
Where is the house that you will build me? Where is my resting place?
For all those things my hand has made, and all those things exist.
But on this ONE will I look: On him who is poor and of a contrite spirit
And who trembles at my word.

I imagine it this way. So, God, whose throne is in Heaven and who rests his feet on this earth is looking for a resting place. He is ruler of Heaven and earth, King of kings, Lord of lords, and He wants a place to rest. After searching through the heavens and through the earth, He decides that the most worthy object of His gaze is... a person. And it is not just any person, mind you. It is a person with a poor and contrite spirit. It is a person who trembles at His word. These two verses trouble me immensely. Here's why.

I have spent the last 23 years building, shaping, molding, fixing, and trying desperately to become someone that is looked upon. I'll be honest- I love attention. I love being the center of attention. I love when people want to listen to what I am saying. I love when people want to be around me. Here's the problem. The person that I have tried to become is the opposite of the person whom God says that He will look upon. The verse is not, "But on this one will I look: On him who tries to be cool, funny, really successful, creative, beloved by the whole earth."

It makes perfect sense, really. The gospel is simple. Jesus didn't come for the healthy. He came for the sick. He came for the ones who didn't have it all together so that in their poverty of spirit- in their embrace of the fact that they do not have it all together- they will humble themselves enough to say "yes" to needing a Savior.

So what will I do? Well, I will wake up tomorrow morning and do the same thing that I am going to do every morning until God says that it is time to leave this place and move on to somewhere else. I will sit in the Prayer Room and strive (yes, strive) to be a resting place for this wonderful God that I have the privilege of serving. What does it mean to be a resting place? Well, give me a few years and maybe I will have something to tell you!

won't you let me love you more...

I received an email from one of my best friends yesterday inviting me to the challenge of praying one simple prayer for the next six months. The prayer is this: "Lord, I pray that I would love you more than I want to breathe my next breath." I am taking her up on this challenge for one reason. I want my life to be marked by love. It is the greatest commandment and it is one that I want to take seriously. I'm not very good at it and I know this. It is hard for me to love an intangible and invisible God. And yet something in my spirit comes alive from time to time as I encounter the Lord and love starts to stir in my heart in a way that I can barely describe. It is a mystery, really!

The song playing in the prayer room right now echoes what is on my heart this afternoon... So I will end with this.

"Oh won't you let me love you more?

This is all that I desire.

Won't you let me love you more?

This is all that I require.

Won't you let me love you more?

This is my deepest heart's desire.

Won't you let me love you more, and more...

You could give to me the gift of walking on water

And maybe, maybe I will raise the dead

But I have one life to live and all I have to give to you is love.

If I never walk on water,

If I never see the miracles,

If I never hear your voice outloud

Just knowing that you love me is enough to keep me here.

Just hearing those words is enough to satisify, you satisfy,

I couldn't leave even if I tried.. I must have you!

Home sweet... Kansas City?!?!

After spending a few weeks in Charlottesville, Russell and I packed the car to the max and jumped on the road. We drove 12 hours the first day, spent the night with our friends Zane and Beth in St. Louis, and then drove the following 4 hours on Wednesday. Yesterday morning, the temperature was in the single digits. We came home to an empty fridge, lots of laundry, and an apartment that was a bit chilly. Yet for some reason, when we opened the door and stepped in, it felt strangely like "home". All to say, it is good to be back.

Russell and I have our interview this Saturday afternoon and then will look forward to New Staff Orientation that begins on February 12th. The highlight of the month, however, will be when my dad, Bob, and the woman he has been dating for about a year, Mary, will take a trek out to KC to visit. I am already counting down the days!!

Here we go again...

As if leaving our jobs, our homes, our friends, and our family and moving halfway across the country just one month after being married wasn't "enough", we have decided to add to this journey by staying in Kansas City and joining full-time staff at the International House of Prayer. Five years ago, this is precisely what I imagined myself to be doing (note sarcasm). Alas, Russell and I are thrilled at this opportunity and already looking forward to the first day of our new staff orientation which begins the first week of February.

Getting to that day, however, will be the challenge. Full-time staff requires that we raise full support which has been demanding full surrender out of this doubting heart. Sadly, this is a daily battle for me. I do not know which is more difficult- surrendering my fear of not raising enough money or surrendering my need for approval by every person around me as I find myself sheepishly coming out behind my closed door and really telling people what we are doing. "You mean, you just sit in a room and pray? But what are you really doing? Are you actually helping people? What are you doing?" And so the conversations go. Are they opportunities for me to share about the goodness of God and how worthy He is? Of course. Yet they are also "opportunities" (I say this resentfully) for the Lord to mercifully squeeze out of me the people-pleasing spirit in my life. Many of our close friends and relatives do not understand... and I do not blame them. Many not only do not understand but also do not agree or support what we are doing. Slowly, I am starting to realize that their misunderstanding and disapproval are becoming the avenue through which I am forced to get on my knees before the Lord and ask, "Are you sure that this is what you want us to do? Are you sure that it's worth it?" And then ask again. And again. And again.

His answer yesterday is not enough for my doubts today. So I have to ask Him again. And all the while, I'm beginning to think that God probably designed it this very way.